It's 4:30 in the morning as I write this, and I have been up since 3:00. Life feels pretty stressful and out of control right now, leading to an inability to fall asleep or stay asleep. Classes end next week, which in some ways feels pretty incredible. I have almost completed my master's degree, which seems pretty unreal. My parents will be arriving for graduation in just about a month, which is crazy.
But there is still so much left up in the air. As of right now, I have no job for after graduation. My current part-time job at Cornell ends next week. And I have no idea what comes next. I like to know what comes next-- it's how I function. I like to think that I am relatively flexible as well, but I like having a plan. This is part of the reason why this semester has felt so crazy.
I have to take a quiz/exam this week, and a paper to hand in next week. A week after that, I take the only final exam I have this semester-- for financial accounting. After May 6th, I will be done with my classes. That gives me about 2 1/2 weeks with not a lot to do until graduation.
But my thesis still feels like it is looming over my head. I don't like to talk about it or think about it more than necessary-- it creates a sense of impending doom. That may sound overly dramatic, but that's the way it feels. It's also why I am awake right now--because the sound of footsteps coming from the apartment above mine at 3 in the morning woke me up, and I am so unable to relax that I immediately started thinking about everything that hasn't come together yet, including (especially) my thesis. A large knot forms in my stomach, and creates a complete inability to fall back to sleep. Once I have given up on actually going back to bed, I get up, check my email, and attempt to do some more work. This is problematic because it means I will be exhausted tomorrow during class from 8:30-4:00. It almost makes me wish I could become nocturnal. There are fewer things to get distracted by in the middle of the night, other than stress. And stress is motivational. Although, the downside is that I unfortunately need sleep to function, and so far this method isn't really functional-- particularly in any kind of long term sense. But it is the reality of my life right now.
--brianna
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Beginning of the End
I could be living in a different state in two months.
I have no idea what state it will be. I know which ones I would like, but the last couple years have taught me that the unexpected can work out. Bri and I spent the second weekend of spring break exploring two cities on the East Coast that we view as possibilities for our next destination. During out 24 hours in Boston we walked for 7+ hours. We roamed around the downtown/financial district for the bulk of our time, simply because it was the location of our hotel. We took the metro to Fenway park to explore a neighborhood that Bri has applied to work in, and we continued to Brookline, which one of my customers recommended. We basically loved all of our time in the city. Every neighborhood we encountered offered exciting possibilities and challenges.
When we had walked until we couldn't go a step further, we got in the car and drove down to Providence. Caveat: I continue to be amazed at how large and small the East Coast is. New York is huge, massive, and 95% of it has nothing to do with the city. On the other hand, we made it from downtown Boston to the center of Providence in 45 minutes, crazy. Anyways, we met our old friend Jeff just off Brown's campus in a really cool neighborhood of Providence. It basically reminded me of a grown up version of the neighborhood in Ithaca where I work. We grabbed some quality Greek food and really good coffee, then proceeded down to Jeff's house in East Greenwich. It was fantastic to spend time with Jeff and Lisa, people I have known since college and who have been through similar experiences as us. They moved to RI 3 weeks before we moved to NY. We had the opportunity to attend their church and see and hear about their lives. It was great to spend a significant amount of time with people who know us outside of Ithaca and to get their perspective on our lives and the new opportunities we have.
And so, I find myself back in Ithaca, with a better sense of the possibilities ahead of us, and two or three months left in this grand adventure.
Our lives are still progressing here. We met with our pastor this morning, and after an amazing conversation about our lives, or history in the church, and our future, we made the choice to become members. It is odd to realize that we will be in this place for such a short time as members, but it is also a great blessing to have a place in Ithaca to call home. It is funny that we spent so much time here trying to find another House of Mercy, and in the end we found a completely different place that has filled our needs.
Bri will be done with classes in a month. Graduation in the 24 of May. Our lease is done the last day of July. These are our guarantees. The rest will come together in its own time.
Blessings
-cody
I have no idea what state it will be. I know which ones I would like, but the last couple years have taught me that the unexpected can work out. Bri and I spent the second weekend of spring break exploring two cities on the East Coast that we view as possibilities for our next destination. During out 24 hours in Boston we walked for 7+ hours. We roamed around the downtown/financial district for the bulk of our time, simply because it was the location of our hotel. We took the metro to Fenway park to explore a neighborhood that Bri has applied to work in, and we continued to Brookline, which one of my customers recommended. We basically loved all of our time in the city. Every neighborhood we encountered offered exciting possibilities and challenges.
When we had walked until we couldn't go a step further, we got in the car and drove down to Providence. Caveat: I continue to be amazed at how large and small the East Coast is. New York is huge, massive, and 95% of it has nothing to do with the city. On the other hand, we made it from downtown Boston to the center of Providence in 45 minutes, crazy. Anyways, we met our old friend Jeff just off Brown's campus in a really cool neighborhood of Providence. It basically reminded me of a grown up version of the neighborhood in Ithaca where I work. We grabbed some quality Greek food and really good coffee, then proceeded down to Jeff's house in East Greenwich. It was fantastic to spend time with Jeff and Lisa, people I have known since college and who have been through similar experiences as us. They moved to RI 3 weeks before we moved to NY. We had the opportunity to attend their church and see and hear about their lives. It was great to spend a significant amount of time with people who know us outside of Ithaca and to get their perspective on our lives and the new opportunities we have.
And so, I find myself back in Ithaca, with a better sense of the possibilities ahead of us, and two or three months left in this grand adventure.
Our lives are still progressing here. We met with our pastor this morning, and after an amazing conversation about our lives, or history in the church, and our future, we made the choice to become members. It is odd to realize that we will be in this place for such a short time as members, but it is also a great blessing to have a place in Ithaca to call home. It is funny that we spent so much time here trying to find another House of Mercy, and in the end we found a completely different place that has filled our needs.
Bri will be done with classes in a month. Graduation in the 24 of May. Our lease is done the last day of July. These are our guarantees. The rest will come together in its own time.
Blessings
-cody
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