Sorry it has been over a month since I last posted. First there were finals (which went really well), followed by a week of work and finals recovery, then a trip to MN for a week of craziness traveling to see family and friends. We returned to New York and have been trying to get everything in the apartment in order (like finally unpacking a couple of boxes that have remained shoved in a corner since we moved in), prepping for a new semester, working on thesis research, applying for jobs, etc.
The new (and last) semester starts tomorrow. I am excited about the possibilities, and a little bit nervous as well. It's all coming to a close, and there is still so much to be done. I have registered for classes, and the schedule seems like a pretty good one: Global Conflict & Terrorism, Violence Against Women, Labor Markets & Income Distribution in Developing Countries, and the last class is a debate between Financial Accounting and Managerial Finance (I plan on attending both and seeing which course seems more interesting, has a better professor, etc.). Hopefully I will know more as the week continues.
I have also been busy with my new job, which has been a new way to get connected into Cornell. I know that between work and school, this semester is going to fly by. Hopefully, it will be a good one.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, December 5, 2008
A Short Revelation While I Temporarily Avoid Writing a Paper
I have a final due tomorrow. It needs to be 15-20 pages long for a class on International Institutions. I am writing it on the balancing act of the United Nations in terms of global governance and nation-state sovereignty, with a focus on the United States role in condoning torture in its national security efforts, thereby decreasing the UN's legitimacy, and calling into question the role of the UN in the future. This paper directly ties into my thesis, and I am researching this and related topics for just about every class I am taking this semester. It means that occasionally I need a break, as focusing too much on this issue and all of the related topics, as well as all the factors that need to be considered in this type of a decision-making process make my head hurt.
So, on to the revelation. I am traditionally someone who doesn't speak out loud on topics that they know little about. In classes, I usually speak only when I am relatively sure of what I think, that it makes sense, and that it is the "right" answer. I don't like to make controversial comments and make people angry. During my years at Bethel as an undergrad, I was definitely more liberal than many of my peers, but made sure not to offend anyone with statements on my views on many things-- I spoke more centrally and moderately than I do at Cornell. While at Bethel, if anyone called into question what I was saying, I assumed that I was wrong (particularly if it was a professor), and moved on.
However, I am in a very different setting right now. While still fairly liberal, I would be considered much more moderate than at least several of the professors I interact with on a daily basis. I am more inclined to speak in class (partially because with several classes with less than 10 students that are purely discussion based, speaking in class is a necessity) now, and as such, recently came to a surprising conclusion. It may sound ridiculous, in the fact that for many people, what I am saying shouldn't be shocking. But, I experienced a revelation a couple of weeks ago that was a bit odd. I came to the conclusion that I am not wrong. I have several professors who have vehemently disagreed with me on class discussions. I think this is partially due to the fact that I am less inclined to view things from a purely idealistic perspective, and instead try to account for all of the aspects that influence a decision, particularly when looking at large scale issues. I had one professor tell me I was being too negative when I was discussing why the US would be uninclined to give up veto power in the UN security council. I wasn't trying to say I think it never should, just that there are a number of reasons why the US would rather not.
She utterly disagreed with me-- but I knew I was right. It was an odd feeling to say the least. There have been other similar circumstances over the past several weeks with different professors, but it was an interesting experience to be one semester away from graduating from grad school, and know that there may be people who are better educated than I am, who are older and more experienced than I am-- but that doesn't make them always right-- even in the topics which they are teaching me about.
So, as I sit here writing a paper for one of these professors, I am attempting to state what I think clearly, but at the same time, avoid angering my professor as they grade my paper. I would prefer not to tick someone off as they are giving me a grade that significantly impacts how I will do in their course. It will probably be a late night-- but tomorrow (at some point) the class will have been completed, and I can move on. Well, to the next final-- which is a project due on Monday. To be followed by a paper due on Wednesday. Followed by a paper due on Thursday. Followed by an exam on Friday. And then the semester is complete. Hooray!
So, on to the revelation. I am traditionally someone who doesn't speak out loud on topics that they know little about. In classes, I usually speak only when I am relatively sure of what I think, that it makes sense, and that it is the "right" answer. I don't like to make controversial comments and make people angry. During my years at Bethel as an undergrad, I was definitely more liberal than many of my peers, but made sure not to offend anyone with statements on my views on many things-- I spoke more centrally and moderately than I do at Cornell. While at Bethel, if anyone called into question what I was saying, I assumed that I was wrong (particularly if it was a professor), and moved on.
However, I am in a very different setting right now. While still fairly liberal, I would be considered much more moderate than at least several of the professors I interact with on a daily basis. I am more inclined to speak in class (partially because with several classes with less than 10 students that are purely discussion based, speaking in class is a necessity) now, and as such, recently came to a surprising conclusion. It may sound ridiculous, in the fact that for many people, what I am saying shouldn't be shocking. But, I experienced a revelation a couple of weeks ago that was a bit odd. I came to the conclusion that I am not wrong. I have several professors who have vehemently disagreed with me on class discussions. I think this is partially due to the fact that I am less inclined to view things from a purely idealistic perspective, and instead try to account for all of the aspects that influence a decision, particularly when looking at large scale issues. I had one professor tell me I was being too negative when I was discussing why the US would be uninclined to give up veto power in the UN security council. I wasn't trying to say I think it never should, just that there are a number of reasons why the US would rather not.
She utterly disagreed with me-- but I knew I was right. It was an odd feeling to say the least. There have been other similar circumstances over the past several weeks with different professors, but it was an interesting experience to be one semester away from graduating from grad school, and know that there may be people who are better educated than I am, who are older and more experienced than I am-- but that doesn't make them always right-- even in the topics which they are teaching me about.
So, as I sit here writing a paper for one of these professors, I am attempting to state what I think clearly, but at the same time, avoid angering my professor as they grade my paper. I would prefer not to tick someone off as they are giving me a grade that significantly impacts how I will do in their course. It will probably be a late night-- but tomorrow (at some point) the class will have been completed, and I can move on. Well, to the next final-- which is a project due on Monday. To be followed by a paper due on Wednesday. Followed by a paper due on Thursday. Followed by an exam on Friday. And then the semester is complete. Hooray!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Papers, Projects, and Tests Galore
All of my finals are due in the next two-three weeks. I have a stats project (of approximately 20 pages) looking at the power of the United States as compared to other UN security council members based off of their respective GDP's, and military spending, a paper on the United States role in the UN after condoning torture in the War on Terror for International Institutions (worth 55% of my grade, of approximately 20 pages), an economics exam, a paper on the role of immigrants filling lower level hospital positions the way kids coming off of farms had historically in Minneapolis (by looking at how unions organize these groups as well) for Labor and Global Cities (once again, around 20 pages), and a paper looking at how the Geneva Conventions were sidestepped and the effort to extend Presidential powers in condoning torture for Intergovernmental Systems. All of this is due in a one week stretch of time (from the 5th to the 12th of December).
It's times like this that deciding to go to graduate school seems completely insane on the one hand, but I get the opportunity to study subjects that I find fascinating-- and I learn a ton by forcing myself to put all of this information together in a comprehensible kind of way. Plus, it will be helpful for my thesis (well, for the most part), so its kind of like getting two things done at once. It feels insane right now, but I know when the semester is over, I will only have one semester left-- and then I get to graduate. And that will be a good thing.
It's times like this that deciding to go to graduate school seems completely insane on the one hand, but I get the opportunity to study subjects that I find fascinating-- and I learn a ton by forcing myself to put all of this information together in a comprehensible kind of way. Plus, it will be helpful for my thesis (well, for the most part), so its kind of like getting two things done at once. It feels insane right now, but I know when the semester is over, I will only have one semester left-- and then I get to graduate. And that will be a good thing.
Monday, November 10, 2008
School as a Competition
I attend an Ivy League school-- so it probably shouldn't be shocking that it is fairly competitive. What I find most interesting is that the professors that I have admired and learned the most from don't set the classroom learning experience up as a competition, one where they only give out a certain number of A's, or don't give out A's at all. Instead, they encourage the class to learn together, to share in the experience given the various backgrounds, so that we can teach each other as well. It sounds a little dippy perhaps when I phrase it that way, but that's the general idea. We are in a public affairs program-- its about serving people wherever your gifts are-- we focus on government and non-profits rather than business.
I guess that it shouldn't surprise me that students are constantly comparing grades then. Frankly, if they want to, that's their business. But for me, education has always been about putting in my best effort, learning from my mistakes, and improving. I don't mind occasionally comparing grades with people that I know and trust when it is so that we can learn from each other. But I am not ok with comparison as a means of boosting one's self-esteem at the expense of others. That has always really bothered me. I don't always get A's-- I am someone who has had to work hard to get to where I am. I have friends who can blow off most of a semester of classes, write (or study) for finals the night before, and get a 4.0. I find that pretty amazing, as my brain simply doesn't operate that way. For me, education has always been a balancing act, one where I set my priorities to do as well as I can-- I can't invest as much time as I would like to on every single class that I take, there simply isn't the time available to do that. Instead, I prioritize.
So it bothers me when someone who I don't know very well walked up to me after seeing me get a graded paper out of my mailbox on campus asks me "What grade did you get?" It strikes me as rather ballsy. It wasn't a question (which in my view is more polite) of "How did you do?" I don't think that question is as inappropriate, as it allows for the option of saying "I did well" or, "Not as well as I would have hoped" or also the option of saying, "I got an A-" etc. So I looked at the person posing the question and asked why they wanted to know.
I have in many ways been set up as the default person to ask questions of in the class, as I have had the professor before, and he frequently calls on me (even when I don't have my hand raised to answer). The whole class knows it, so they ask me what the professor is looking for, how to prepare for the class, etc. And I don't mind these questions-- I am more than happy to help with the experience that I have-- a lot of the students are first years who are nervous about the first semester in grad school, and I'm glad that I can reassure them and help them. But I refuse to be set up as the means of comparison-- how well I do is frankly my business, and no one else's. It strikes me as a sad thing that this is how many students have been taught to operate when it comes to their education-- their self-esteem is based on their gpa.
My goal is to graduate being a more well-rounded person, due in part to the excellent quality of education I have received while I am here. That's what it's about for me. I realize that having a professional graduate degree from a recognizable school also makes me more employable in the fields I am interested in. But I don't like the numbers game that is played by some in order to get there. It makes me sad, because it doesn't seem like it is done from a place in the heart that seeks to encourage and build others up. And that is what I seek to be, no matter where I end up a year from now.
--brianna
I guess that it shouldn't surprise me that students are constantly comparing grades then. Frankly, if they want to, that's their business. But for me, education has always been about putting in my best effort, learning from my mistakes, and improving. I don't mind occasionally comparing grades with people that I know and trust when it is so that we can learn from each other. But I am not ok with comparison as a means of boosting one's self-esteem at the expense of others. That has always really bothered me. I don't always get A's-- I am someone who has had to work hard to get to where I am. I have friends who can blow off most of a semester of classes, write (or study) for finals the night before, and get a 4.0. I find that pretty amazing, as my brain simply doesn't operate that way. For me, education has always been a balancing act, one where I set my priorities to do as well as I can-- I can't invest as much time as I would like to on every single class that I take, there simply isn't the time available to do that. Instead, I prioritize.
So it bothers me when someone who I don't know very well walked up to me after seeing me get a graded paper out of my mailbox on campus asks me "What grade did you get?" It strikes me as rather ballsy. It wasn't a question (which in my view is more polite) of "How did you do?" I don't think that question is as inappropriate, as it allows for the option of saying "I did well" or, "Not as well as I would have hoped" or also the option of saying, "I got an A-" etc. So I looked at the person posing the question and asked why they wanted to know.
I have in many ways been set up as the default person to ask questions of in the class, as I have had the professor before, and he frequently calls on me (even when I don't have my hand raised to answer). The whole class knows it, so they ask me what the professor is looking for, how to prepare for the class, etc. And I don't mind these questions-- I am more than happy to help with the experience that I have-- a lot of the students are first years who are nervous about the first semester in grad school, and I'm glad that I can reassure them and help them. But I refuse to be set up as the means of comparison-- how well I do is frankly my business, and no one else's. It strikes me as a sad thing that this is how many students have been taught to operate when it comes to their education-- their self-esteem is based on their gpa.
My goal is to graduate being a more well-rounded person, due in part to the excellent quality of education I have received while I am here. That's what it's about for me. I realize that having a professional graduate degree from a recognizable school also makes me more employable in the fields I am interested in. But I don't like the numbers game that is played by some in order to get there. It makes me sad, because it doesn't seem like it is done from a place in the heart that seeks to encourage and build others up. And that is what I seek to be, no matter where I end up a year from now.
--brianna
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Moving Quickly Through the Semester
Pre-registration for next semester began this week. It was bizarre to realize that this upcoming semester will be my last one at Cornell. I feel like I just got here, which in many ways I have, being that this is only a two year program. Once again this whole pre-registration/registration process was more difficult than really necessary, as I couldn't find all of the classes that I want to register for on my first attempt. I will attempt again tomorrow (the last day of pre-registration), and hopefully have better luck.
I was also able to meet with the chair of the government department this week, and was able to get some ideas for my thesis (he wrote a book that is related to my thesis topic that was just released in August). I am setting up more meetings with other professors for the next couple of weeks-- now I just have to find the time to read everything that I want to. Cody and I were laughing the other day as we walked out of the house about how creepy it would be to break into our place, I have stacks and stacks of books on torture piled at the far end of the couch, near the door (and these books have pretty creepy covers). We decided that if someone were to break into our apartment, they would probably walk right out again, it looks a little weird.
The second round of midterms begin soon. I receive my second stats midterm tomorrow (its a take home), and my second econ midterm is next Wednesday. And after that, it is the beginning of the end-- starting to work on lots of final projects-- my stats project, international institutions paper, intergovernmental systems paper, and labor & global cities paper. It will all be over by the middle of December, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing-- it only leaves me about six weeks to get everything done, but its also a sign that I have already made it through quite a bit of the semester.
I keep wondering where we will be a year from now -- and the answer is, I really don't know. It's a little nerve-wracking, but also kind of an exciting opportunity to do something new. I keep trying to maintain a balanced perspective about everything that seems to be coming so quickly-- end of the semester, my thesis, graduation, a job search, a new place to live. Hopefully it will all stay in perspective as long as I need it to.
--brianna
I was also able to meet with the chair of the government department this week, and was able to get some ideas for my thesis (he wrote a book that is related to my thesis topic that was just released in August). I am setting up more meetings with other professors for the next couple of weeks-- now I just have to find the time to read everything that I want to. Cody and I were laughing the other day as we walked out of the house about how creepy it would be to break into our place, I have stacks and stacks of books on torture piled at the far end of the couch, near the door (and these books have pretty creepy covers). We decided that if someone were to break into our apartment, they would probably walk right out again, it looks a little weird.
The second round of midterms begin soon. I receive my second stats midterm tomorrow (its a take home), and my second econ midterm is next Wednesday. And after that, it is the beginning of the end-- starting to work on lots of final projects-- my stats project, international institutions paper, intergovernmental systems paper, and labor & global cities paper. It will all be over by the middle of December, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing-- it only leaves me about six weeks to get everything done, but its also a sign that I have already made it through quite a bit of the semester.
I keep wondering where we will be a year from now -- and the answer is, I really don't know. It's a little nerve-wracking, but also kind of an exciting opportunity to do something new. I keep trying to maintain a balanced perspective about everything that seems to be coming so quickly-- end of the semester, my thesis, graduation, a job search, a new place to live. Hopefully it will all stay in perspective as long as I need it to.
--brianna
Thursday, October 16, 2008
We Survived Fall Break...
though it confirmed our decision not to have children for at least five years! It was a great trip, we had a lot of fun hanging out, playing, going to the beach, the park, the orchard to pick raspberries, dropping the kids off at school, watching youtube videos, watching cartoons, looking at halloween costumes, making art projects, building cars, going to a train show, going through hay mazes, and more. Clearly, it was a busy weekend. We got to New Haven at 1:00 on Saturday, and left at 11 am on Tuesday. We confirmed that sleep is well-loved by both of us-- we aren't ready to be woken up by excited yelling children at 7 am who are ready to jump in bed with us and play (I confirmed my suspicions of my style of future parenting skills-- that of reinforcing the habit my mom used to do-- of telling me to watch cartoons quietly when I would get up at 6 am on the weekends) because I definitely pulled out the couch cushions for the kids to sit on, flipped the tv onto noggin, and spent several more minutes trying to wake up before stumbling into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.
Spending time with my sister, brother-in-law, and the kids was a great chance to see them and catch up. Even though they live relatively close (its about a five hour drive), it really necessitates a long weekend to make it down there, which I haven't had that many of-- school is pretty intense, and I don't skip classes if I can help it. This was the first time that we had seen them since Christmas, and it was a blast, but definitely tiring. The trip down to New Haven was excellent-- the weather was perfect, the leaves were changing color and falling as we were driving through the Catskills into Connecticut. The little two-lane roads we drove in Connecticut, alongside small lakes and streams seemed perfectly New England-esque. Cody commented that he would need to re-read Walden after our trip, it just seemed necessary.
We have made it back to Ithaca, and classes are back in swing. I started my next set of meetings for my thesis earlier this morning. It seems like it should be a good group of students and faculty that I am meeting with in this second semester of thesis prep. We each have very different topics, but all the topics are areas that I am interested in. If things go well, I should pretty much have my thesis prospectus wrapped up in a week or so (a key step in the process that is due by the end of this semester). Work is a little nuts for Cody, but I will let him explain that one when/if he ever decides to start blogging again (it isn't an intentional break from blogging on his part, more of a sudden realization recently that he hasn't blogged since June).
The break was an interesting opportunity for me to discuss my thesis topic with various people while down in CT. Paul's (my brother-in-law) parents were visiting on Saturday, which led to a brief discussion of my topic, as well as a lengthy conversation with Karissa (my sister) and Paul on Monday night when we all went out to dinner. People are definitely opinionated when it comes to my thesis-- willing to debate, question, and debate some more. It should make for an interesting year of continued research!
--brianna
Spending time with my sister, brother-in-law, and the kids was a great chance to see them and catch up. Even though they live relatively close (its about a five hour drive), it really necessitates a long weekend to make it down there, which I haven't had that many of-- school is pretty intense, and I don't skip classes if I can help it. This was the first time that we had seen them since Christmas, and it was a blast, but definitely tiring. The trip down to New Haven was excellent-- the weather was perfect, the leaves were changing color and falling as we were driving through the Catskills into Connecticut. The little two-lane roads we drove in Connecticut, alongside small lakes and streams seemed perfectly New England-esque. Cody commented that he would need to re-read Walden after our trip, it just seemed necessary.
We have made it back to Ithaca, and classes are back in swing. I started my next set of meetings for my thesis earlier this morning. It seems like it should be a good group of students and faculty that I am meeting with in this second semester of thesis prep. We each have very different topics, but all the topics are areas that I am interested in. If things go well, I should pretty much have my thesis prospectus wrapped up in a week or so (a key step in the process that is due by the end of this semester). Work is a little nuts for Cody, but I will let him explain that one when/if he ever decides to start blogging again (it isn't an intentional break from blogging on his part, more of a sudden realization recently that he hasn't blogged since June).
The break was an interesting opportunity for me to discuss my thesis topic with various people while down in CT. Paul's (my brother-in-law) parents were visiting on Saturday, which led to a brief discussion of my topic, as well as a lengthy conversation with Karissa (my sister) and Paul on Monday night when we all went out to dinner. People are definitely opinionated when it comes to my thesis-- willing to debate, question, and debate some more. It should make for an interesting year of continued research!
--brianna
Friday, October 10, 2008
Fall Break
We are going away for fall break-- to Connecticut. We are driving down to New Haven through the Catskills on what should be a beautiful weekend drive-- it's supposed to be sunny with temps in the low 70's for the next several days, which should make for a nice drive and back (which is especially nice, considering it will take about five and a half hours each way). I am very much looking forward to it, as it will be a good chance to get away, and see the fam. My sister, brother in law, niece and nephews are there, and it will be good to see them,. It will also be good to see a friend from college, who I haven't seen since we lived together the semester that we spent studying in DC.
We are taking off at about 8:00 tomorrow morning, with a stop at Starbucks for some coffee before leaving town. Hopefully, we will remember to pack our camera with us, and we will take some pictures over the course of the weekend as well. So, just wanted to give you an update. We have survived midterms (me taking them, Cody dealing with crabby customers who are studying for them), and are glad to be able to leave town for awhile.
--brianna
We are taking off at about 8:00 tomorrow morning, with a stop at Starbucks for some coffee before leaving town. Hopefully, we will remember to pack our camera with us, and we will take some pictures over the course of the weekend as well. So, just wanted to give you an update. We have survived midterms (me taking them, Cody dealing with crabby customers who are studying for them), and are glad to be able to leave town for awhile.
--brianna
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